misery is wasted on the miserable

I love the show "Louie".

I've been watching the newest season on Netflix over the past few weeks, and I gotta say, it's a little strange getting used to the fact that this very funny, often crude show has taken a turn this season to focus more on... feelings. Like, love feelings.

But, I gotta say, it's has a few wonderful moments. My favorite so far comes from Episode 10 'Pamela: Part I'. Louie fell in love with a woman in his apartment building, but she was from Hungary, and had to move back. In this episode, he's mourning her move, and talking to his nutty neighbor/doctor about it in an opening scene. He's bummed, he's heartbroken, and his nutty doctor says maybe one of the most brilliant things I've ever heard about heartbreak:

I've been dealing with heartbreak a lot lately - getting over it myself, seeing friends go through it - so that's probably why this touched me so much. We've all dealt with it. But I've noticed that when I start to feel it coming on, I get this odd excitement about it. It sucks, but it reminds me I'm alive. This clip speaks to exactly what the experience should be like, at least in my opinion. When I'm trying to coach a friend through it, I often want to pass along this "idea", but I struggle getting him/her to understand exactly what I mean about that weird positive aspect of feeling hurt, so I end up dropping it. But I'm thankful that this nutty doctor confirms that maybe it's not such a far-fetched idea after all...

Or maybe we're just both nutty.

hope in a "hopeless" place

(Rihanna? Hello?)

This is going to be very short. It's one of those too-hot-outside-and-inside-to-do-anything kind of nights, but I wanted to make sure this got acknowledged in this little space of mine.

I work at a family homeless shelter. After 10 years of different rounds of staff working to grow this place into what it is now (it's really great), we have officially outgrown our teeny tiny closet of a shared church office and are moving into a big, brand new, beautiful place a few blocks away. With that, comes a lot of packing and going through tons and tons of old papers, boxes, and so on.

My boss - our Executive Director who has been with the shelter since the beginning - was going through some old files when she stumbled upon this sweet piece of paper:

"McKala Grace. Born 5:40 AM Sunday 3/9/03 in the Goose Hollow Shelter lounge - on the couch!"
("Goose Hollow Shelter" is the name of the shelter that our families sleep in at night.)

It's hard to work in a shelter - especially one that focuses its work on children experiencing homelessness - but this sweet piece of paper served as such a good reminder to me that, although these families don't have a house yet, many have indeed found a home here.

No one wants to be living in a homeless shelter, especially with your kids at your side, and although at times it may seem like a place where your life is falling apart, just like that, life can start again.

you don't have to go it alone

I love this excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit, and I love Brené Brown's preface to it in her book Daring Greatly: 

"a beautiful reminder of how much easier it is to become real when we know we're loved" 

It's a hard thing to realize that you need other people... I don't think I'm alone in thinking that. I moved across the country - twice - with that steadfast belief. I think, as a society, we take a lot of pride in independence and "being strong", and we don't allow for a lot of room to rely on other people. Not in an unhealthy way, of course, but I just don't think we give ourselves enough opportunity to really be there for one another. Living in a new city, with wonderful friends but numerically much fewer than I'm used to, I've gotten a good taste in loneliness. In that, I haven't felt as connected with myself as I remember in the past - giving me this horrible feeling of inauthenticity. (Which is funny, because isn't that why people run away in the first place?) After reading this excerpt, I'm reminded that it really does take human love - not Instagram likes or Facebook posts - to shape us into what we're all looking for: something Real. 

I don't have anything ground-breaking to say, I just wanted to share that excerpt in hopes that it speaks to someone else the way it did for me. I'm really lucky to have so many people in so many places that do love me, and who shape me into the version of myself that I want to be. And until my joints are creaky and my eyes drop out, I'll keep on embracing the good, the bad, and the lonely, only now with a little less hardheadedness, a bit more connection, and, hopefully, a lot more Real. 

community: a refresher

I attended my first meditation class tonight, accompanied by a lovely friend. It was, interesting. Instantly, my favorite part was having this time to be in a room with so many different types of people, in complete silence and peace. I was intimidated going into it, because I know very little of the subject and assumed I would stick out like a sore thumb. But, everyone looked so... ordinary. It was exhilarating. (My favorite was the large man in the back still wearing his business suit, but of course made sure to ditch the shoes at the door like everybody else.

At the end, there was a little discussion about the mindful/mindlessness of meditation. The speaker asked the audience if we had any questions about the instruction of meditation in general. The first person to raise his hand was Barry. (He sat two seats down from business suit guy.) During walking meditation, I noticed Barry had a bunch of plastic silverware in his back pocket. I was excited to hear from this guy.

Barry began by saying that he has received no official instruction for meditation, and wants to make sure he's doing it right. He shares that he's homeless, and he makes a lot of decisions throughout the day that challenge him, especially during his meditation time. He wanted to know if it's OK that these thoughts come to him while practicing. The speaker very kindly, and professionally, responded to his question ("of course it's OK!"), and in that made it very clear that she and this community knew and respected him well.

I teared up then and I'm tearing up now. I am so happy that this group can benefit from Barry, and vice versa. That he can have the opportunity to sit right next to business suit guy and be at peace together. That he can have the opportunity to hear the struggles that his peers are facing and that he can relate and support them.

It sounds simple, and maybe even old fashioned, but it was that "face of homelessness" that I've been looking, working, and fighting for for so long. Although he's without a place to call home, Barry is not without a community.

By now, we're all aware of what's going on in Baltimore right now. As someone who connects much of her life to this city, I'm heartbroken. But I know I'm not the only one.

It's been hard to see a city that's overcome so much get impacted so deeply by what's now very clearly a nationwide problem. It's been even harder to know that some of my most loved friends and family are witnessing a lot of this first hand. My best friend is an incredibly brilliant teacher at a Baltimore middle school. She struggles trying to be a positive source of support to her students who want to make sense of the terror going on in their own neighborhoods, while trying to find ways to understand it herself. My brother keeps reminding us all he's OK, though he lives just a short walk from where rioters were filmed stomping out police car windows yesterday. I know it'd make no difference if I still lived there or not, but it's hard to be away from "home" at a time like this.

Yesterday was filled with such horror and chaos in the media. I was questioning where the community went, and where it's gone in the larger picture of our country. But today, I found a strange sense of hope. I kept seeing videos like this, and this, pop up in my Facebook news feed - of people who so desperately needed to share a deep-rooted message, but never had the appropriate opportunity until now (albeit, an unfortunate one, to say the very least). I mean, gangs are coming together to calmly discuss issues of oppression, for crying out loud! I've also seen many postings of clean up groups getting together, shares from neighborhood Facebook support groups that have been created, etc.

Through all of this, I've been reminded that... community still exists. 

Oppression is everywhere. It has many faces: race, homelessness, religion, disability, age, sexual orientation. Unfortunately, I don't know when it will end. I do know, however, that we can start this battle by being a community. Be thoughtful. Be patient with each other. Consider the whole story. Live together, work together, hell, even meditate together. It doesn't have to be this hateful.

editing your story

For years (8 of them, to be exact) I have been wanting to pick up some kind of graphic design. When I was in college, I made a horribly brave decision to take some pre-requisite art classes so I could try to get into the only design program UMD had. Sadly, ART100 scarred every creative being that I had available in my soul at the time. By the time I finally ended that semester with a passing grade, I thought that was the last I'd think about doing anything creative with my life.

If you know me, you might say I'm a quitter. I'm not [that] ashamed to admit that you're probably a little right. I'm the least competitive person that I know, so when something isn't working out for me... well... I tend to quit (if only that applied in my relationships, but I guess that's another post). According to my track record, my failure in art should've been the end of my dream of being a designer, but I'm happy to report that I'm still just as determined as I was back in my high school yearbook editor days. This must mean I'm onto something... even if it's taking a little longer than expected.

I've been really lucky to have had the opportunity to flex my creativity in my job lately (reports, infographics, what-have-you). It's been fun and it feels really good to be creative again. Better yet, I've been finding it to be a good release in this semi-muddled time in my life.

So, I've decided to make it a point to turn this design thing into a distraction from other less desirable things happening around me right now. I signed up for online Skillshare classes, hoping to get a little more formal training in things like InDesign, Illustrator, typography, and the general process of creating. I'm making it a goal to do at least two classes every week. Tonight was my first.

It was a class on creating visual narratives with designer Debbie Millman. She was explaining the process of turning written word (i.e. journal passages) into pieces of art through things like collage and other fun, simple mediums. There was a section in her class called "Editing Your Story". I was taking little notes here and there - mostly jotting down artists to look up, books to read - and I found myself surprised to just start naturally jotting down her steps to editing. As I was writing them, I was struck by how perfectly these steps to editing pieces of art fit into editing and rearranging parts of life. Maybe I sound like I've been hanging out in Portland too long... Maybe. But seriously. Check it out:

1. "Edit out the first paragraph" - This one is my favorite step. She's talking about journaling, and how your first paragraph is honestly, probably, pretty lame. It gives the story away. If you're creating art, you want to be left with a little bit of mystery, question. By taking out the introduction, the explanation of the who/what/where/when/how, you jump into the why. I think I've been lingering in the "first paragraph" for a little too long, acknowledging what's happening, but just brushing the surface of it and making snap judgments. I think it's time to dive into those meaty middle paragraphs (I promise this is not turning into a 50 Shades of Grey scene...what?).
2. "Don't make excuses for yourself in your writing" - I do this a lot in my journaling. It's like I have to justify my actions to the person reading it - which, fingers crossed, is just me. This shouldn't happen in life, either. You are behind every decision you make. Own up to it.
3. "Tell the truth" - Your art should be relatable to others. You don't want a piece of art that you can't feel a connection with. I fear the truth a lot, afraid I'll hurt somebody mostly. But you can't be a real human by constantly avoiding the truth. And no one wants to be friends with a not real human.
4. "Find humor in the absurd" - Yes. Yes yes yes.
5. "Don't be so hard on yourself" - If you're being truthful, then you're relating to others, and chances are that your reader has gone through the same thing you're vulnerably saying in your piece. Don't be ashamed of your experiences; we're all going through it together.

Maybe this won't make sense to anyone but me, but that's alright. Maybe I'm being a little selfish here. It was something that made me smile after a long, hard day, and heyhey - that's the reason I come here. To remind myself of moments like that. And to reflect. And if all goes well, maybe make sense to one or two of you out there. Here's to design!

As promised: welp g2g

the power of music & good people

It's been a LONG time.

I've been thinking of this blog a lot lately, for a lot of reasons. I've had quite a few friends start up some awesome blogs recently, so that's been a great inspiration. I've also been feeling a little stuck, in a way. A big part of it, of course, is due to being far from home - and everything I'm familiar to. I'm so glad I took the risk to leave home and build a life for myself in Oregon, but it's hard. It's really freaking hard... meeting new people, finding new hobbies, feeling comfortable in your totally naked (wait, that's not how you make friends? jk metaphors of course) skin. Anyway, I decided it's time to get unstuck. It's time to start being a little more aware of how lucky I am, and the happiness that surrounds me every day (because I am really lucky, and there is a lot of things to be happy about).

And guess what! That's the whole reason I start this project in the first place. Cool right?

I've been thinking about what I wanted this first post in a long time to be about, and today I got some inspiration. As I said, I've been missing home and all those familiar, comfortable feelings it brings. It's been tough being away, especially the past couple months. As those close to me know, my cousin, Melanie - who I adore - lost her husband, Nick - who I also adore - to a long battle to cancer a few months ago. I wished more than anything that I could be home to be there for her and her precious kids, to do anything in the world they wanted me to do. But I couldn't. So, one night I was sitting at home by myself, browsing Facebook (duh), and saw that Melanie had posted something about their favorite band, Punch Brothers. I immediately knew: I had to contact them. And little did I know that it'd turn into my favorite story of the power of things I love most: music, family, good intentions, and hope.

Melanie just posted the full story on Nick's Facebook support page, A Sweet Piece of Nick, for the first time in honor of the band's new album (visit the page for the video that goes with the story - I couldn't find a way to embed it here, but I promise your heart will be touched in ways you never thought possible).

Anyway, I'll let Mel do the talking from here...

just say it.

Yesterday, my favorite little dog in the whole world went to sleep forever. Bo had congenital heart failure, and while we knew this day was coming, it still wasn't easy accepting it. Although I'm thankful he's no longer in pain, and so happy to know how many years he lived with so much love, I'll never stop missing that smelly little face.

I got the call from my mom just as I was leaving the house to buy a few things from the local Rite Aid. I had a good 24 hours to prepare, but it still hit me hard. I pulled up to the Rite Aid teary/puffy-eyed, no makeup, sweatpants/sweatshirt, and a frizzy pony to top it off. For a second I actually felt bad for the people who were about to witness this mess of a person.

I got up to the counter to pay for my light bulbs (and my box of tissues that I just used as an excuse to make it look like I was sick, you know, to explain my appearance...). Immediately after the cashier greeted me, he looked me in the eyes and said with a warm smile "You look like you're a good person."

Some people may call this exchange awkward, and he probably felt awkward saying it, but thank God he did. It's like he knew just what I needed to cheer me up at that moment. It was so little, and so quick of an exchange, but I'm still looking back and smiling about it. And he said that despite my horrible physical appearance! What a gem.

So, my simple point is: just say it. If you have a good thought about somebody - even if it's that the scarf they're wearing is pretty - tell them! You may feel awkward, and they may even be taken off guard and not know how to respond, but they'll remember. And you never know, those words may be the ones that stick with them most that day, that week, or even that year.

Rest in peace, Bodacious. Thanks for sending that neat little message. :)

"there's only one way of eating an elephant.."

"One piece at a time."

Desmond Tutu referred to this old quote in the 2010 documentary, "I Am."

To be honest, I just decided to watch the documentary tonight on Netflix because I finished the show I have been wasting my time on for the past few weeks and just needed another excuse to put off packing. But, it's amazing how incredibly productive these seemingly unproductive decisions can turn out to be!

I'm going to just put this out there right away: please watch this documentary. 20 minutes into watching it, I knew I wanted to write something about it. But now that it's over, I still don't really know what to write - just that it's beautiful, and hits the goals and mission of this blog to a T.

For starters, it was the project of director Tom Shadyac.

(Yeah, that didn't mean anything to me at first either...) 

Tom is the man behind Jim Carrey's butt talking in Ace Ventura, he directed my personal favorite in Evan Almighty, and, well, is responsible for this. When I found out his background in the intro, I was a little skeptical... But his personal transformation that was showcased throughout this documentary - and how seriously he took it - is outstanding. I could talk about it, but I want you to watch it, so I'm not going to. Sorry.

Secondly, as easily as it could be written off as one of those "hippie, feel good" documentaries after reading its description, or hearing hippie-feel-gooders like me talk about it, but it has so much focus on SCIENCE. The minute I knew I was hooked on the message of this project was after I heard one of the interviewees - a scientist, mind you - refer to Charles Darwin's "The Descent of Man." He pointed out that Darwin mentions the idea of "the survival of the fittest" only 2 times, whereas he refers to "love" 95 times. Darwin has so much focus on the SCIENCE that human nature is about cooperation and connectedness, yet our society wants to highlight "the survival of the fittest" because of our tendency for competition, and greed. Isn't that incredible? Again, not talking about it any more. Watch.

OK, so, I guess my decision of not leaking too much info so that readers will watch the documentary is not very conducive to my plan of writing about it. But that's OK. I wanted to make sure that it was highlighted even in the tiniest bit because it rings so true to the things I've been talking about on here: how we are to work together as a society to see change, how we need to acknowledge that violence is not going to produce it, and that change can begin even through the smallest of actions.

Desmond Tutu followed the elephant quote with this, which is what hit my heart the sweetest, and what I'd like to leave you all with tonight:

"And so... you can't do anything about global poverty. But yes, you can do something about... this guy...

...because, you know, the sea is really only raindrops coming together."

Thanks for the simple reminder, Mr. Tutu.

[On a side note, I really need to get myself to South Africa one of these days...]

a note on optimisim.

To say that this past week has been an emotional roller coaster would be an understatement. (Did I already start another post off that way? I think I did. Clearly a classic blog intro.) As some of you know, I've just reached the end of a month-long interview process for a job that I was very excited for. I ended up being one of two final interviewees out of a large pool of candidates; but unfortunately, it came down to experience, and I just haven't had enough under my 23-year-old belt.

It took me from feeling extremely confident that I'd be starting a new job I'd love, finding a place to live for me and Madame George, and beginning a life in Portland that I've been so anxious for - all within the next two weeks - to TOTALLY being back to square one. No other prospective job opportunities, ideas of cities to live in... seriously, nada.

So, naturally, I freaked out.

And I'm still freaking out to be honest. But it's turned slightly more into a "wow, this is a beautiful twist of fate" vs. "wow, this is the worst thing that's even happened to me and I'm going to die" freak out.

Yesterday I went surfing for the first time with some lovely friends (I swear this is not a total change of subject...). Between me getting pulverized by waves and constantly following incorrect guidance from Jeff (i.e. standing on top of my board rather than standing on the actual ground, which was only 2 inches below), I got some time to go sit out on the waves and just think.

There I was, sitting in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, along the gorgeous rocky Oregon coast, watching the sun go down, doing something I was convinced I'd never have the confidence to try - all with amazing company. 24 hours before that, I was eating a carton of ice cream and drinking wine and crying about my life and the fact that I will never succeed at anything. One week before, I was on a camping trip of a lifetime with one of my dearest friends from the east coast. 330 days before that, I was settling into Corvallis and scared to death at the daunting task of ever making Oregon my home. And here I am, 27 days left before I need to find a new place to live, and the future is wide open.

>> My point is, it's amazing how quickly things can turn around. You can go from having the worst day of your life to the best in a matter of hours. One scary or unfortunate event can be turned into something you're eternally grateful for down the road. And I think that's pretty neat.

At least in my experiences, I've found that one of the most beautiful things about life is its unpredictability. Before leaving for our surf trip, I spent most of the day yesterday applying to jobs. I decided to apply to the same number of jobs in each city that I'm looking at, just to make the odds a little easier for fate to present itself. ;) I think one of the biggest reasons I don't want to leave Oregon is because being here always presents me with an opportunity at adventure; but I've decided that, really, anywhere life decides to take me, it's my responsibility to make it an exciting trip.

"you simply can't live off of $10,000 a year"

...is the statement that keeps running through my mind after a long conversation with my wonderful mother last night about my future. As most of you reading this should (?) know, I'm currently serving full-time with a service program. One giant aspect of this program is learning to live off of a stipend that reflects a salary of approximately $10,000 per year. This stipend amount is not random; it fluctuates depending on what the poverty level is considered in the county/state you're serving in. For me, serving in Benton County, Oregon, my earnings very closely reflect the gross yearly income that an individual of a family of one can receive to be categorized as "living in poverty."

>> I am living in poverty.
[& I say this not to receive pity, or to receive any type of extra attention at all, but rather to remind my friends/family/loved ones reading this that this is my reality, and to keep this in mind as you continue to read]

Recently, I have had the absolute honor to be offered another position within this same service program for next year, but with a different organization, which I admire very much. Unfortunately, the combination of personal finances and the transition to living in a new location makes accepting this position impossible. This reality is something that saddens me deeply, and not just because of my personal reasoning. This reality has quickly turned into my social justice "aha moment"...

[for the record: no, I am NOT alluding to Oprah, but in fact using a saying that takes us way back to 1939...! go figure]

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/aha%20moment

Anyway, back to my moment, which actually takes us back to my mom's statement:

"You simply can't live off of $10,000 a year."

In case you didn't know, moms are the smartest people around, and mine totally hit the nail on the head with this one. I can't spend more than one year living off of this salary - I have student loans to pay back, a car payment to take over, food to buy, an apartment to pay for, a cat to feed, etc. But what's really challenging for me to accept are two things: 

1. first is swallowing the pill of accepting my privilege, which is an entirely different blog topic that I will just [try] not to get into tonight; 
2. the second is the very blunt reality that $10,000 - or, more generally, "the poverty level" - just isn't enough. Not for me, not for you, not for anyone. 

This is a difficult post for me to write because it is so personal, and because, if you know me at all, you know that I prefer to avoid conflict and this can be a very controversial issue. However, it's important for me to speak on behalf of others living at or below this poverty level in our country - for all of the brilliant, beautiful, and kindhearted people I've met in my experiences volunteering and learning about this social issue. It's important for others to remember to consider each individual as just that - an individual - and not to adhere to the stereotypes and assumptions made about the poor, the homeless, and/or the hungry. 

Imagine your life on $800 or less per month - how do you think your life would change? Who do you think would stay in it? Would you know where to go for help? What would you give up?

I've been seeing posts like this surface on friends' Facebook and Pinterest accounts lately:

And, as terrifying as it is for me to do this, I'd like to address this head-on.

I have an iPhone.
I qualify for food stamps.
My phone is a gift from my mom and step-dad.

Consider the power of owning an iPhone. Having access to this incredible piece of technology means you can possibly sell your laptop/desktop computer if it means making quick money. It means cutting your home phone AND Internet bill to make ends meet. It means still having Internet connection if you lose your home. It means constant access to email in case that lifesaving job offer finally comes through. It means saving the time/money it would take to sit at a public library's computer waiting for said email. It means being able to search day in and day out for another opportunity if said offer doesn't work out.

Please put yourself in the shoes of that girl with the iPhone in front of you with food stamps. Would you relinquish that control and connection to the outside world if you were to lose everything tomorrow?

I am not to say that we shouldn't be wary. There are certainly people that take advantage of the welfare system and we can continue to challenge our leaders to ensure that these services are being utilized correctly. But please, please lead by example: do not attack the individual, as you don't know their story.

Choose Hope in these strangers in front of you in the grocery line, in your neighbors, in your friends, in your family, in me. It may come off as hokey, but it's true - if we focus more on living together rather than so separately, we will never have to worry about these things again in the long run.  

[Better yet, these brilliant "e-cards" can go back to being the good, wholesome, sarcastic fun they were so many [months?] ago!]

who doesn't love TOMS?

I'm thinking I'll be in the market for a new pair of TOMS soon, so I decided to browse the site a bit tonight. I think my favorite new style is the Denim Stripe Women's Classic:

I thought I was sold on this style, until I saw this customer review....

Then there was no doubt in my mind.

Who doesn't love TOMS? Thanks, Ann. I will be taking your word for it. :)
 

Dan Pallotta: The way we think about charity is dead wrong

• "If we could move charitable giving from 2% of GDP up just one step to 3% by investing in growth, that would be $150 billion in contribution." [compared to current $60 billion toward health & human services]
• "Next time you're looking at a charity, don't ask about the rate of overhead. Ask about the scale of their dreams - their Apple, Google, Amazon scale dreams."
• "Who cares what the overhead is as long as these problems are getting solved." 
• "You wanna make $50 million selling violent video games to kids and we will put you on the front page of Wired Magazine, but you wanna make half a million dollars trying to cure kids of malaria and you're considered a parasite yourself. 
• "People are yearning to measure the full distance of their potential on behalf of the causes they about about deeply, but they have to be asked."
• "If we tell the consumer brands you may advertise all the benefits of your product but we tell charities you cannot advertise all the good that you do, where do you think the consumer dollars are going to flow?"

overwhelmed, depressed, enraged, empowered

It's been a while! Life has been a little crazy lately - good crazy, bad crazy, crazy crazy, and everything in between.

Part [err, most?] of the "craziness" was being SO wrapped up in the final plans and, ultimately, carrying out the Alternative Spring Break to San Francisco that I'd been planning since September. It's now been a few days since I've been back in Oregon, but I am still just so blown away by the experience that I really can't find words to describe it - albeit the title of this post may be the best description I've come up with so far.

I do know that I can't begin to describe the experience without first giving credit to the students that came on the trip. They were all such rock stars. For several of them, it had been their first time volunteering anywhere. Many have never had the opportunity to leave the *Corvallis bubble* and explore new ways of life different than their own. And I'm not just calling them "rock stars" to sound cool [which, I know, I do], they literally rocked it. This was one of the most challenging weeks for myself, and I've been through quite a lot of volunteer experiences. We all learned so much from the trip - from one another, the people we met, the things we saw - and the students are so excited to be bringing back what they learned in San Francisco to attack the issue of hunger & homelessness in Oregon and Corvallis. I can't be more proud of them, seriously.

Here is a pic of them [minus Jane!] holding their Sevenly stickers I gave them on our last day of service [and of course a nod to Sevenly's impressive social media presence]:

[Justin, Eden, Sergio, Virginia, Will, Susan, Lindsay]

  

This trip would not have been the same without any of them. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have met each one.

During the week, we volunteered with 8 different organizations in SF focusing on hunger & homelessness. I wish I could write about my experiences with them all, but I think just this post alone is going to be long enough.

One organization that has stuck with me is St. Anthony's Foundation. They invited us to attend a 5-hour program they call "Justice Education Day." Within that block of time, we got an extremely informative layout of poverty in the city (specifically the Tenderloin District, which is where St. Anthony's is located and where our group stayed), helped organize clothing donations for their Free Clothing Store, ate lunch with the guests of their dining room, and listened to the story of a recovering addict participating in their drug rehab program. It certainly was a heavy day, but one that I don't want to soon forget.

During lunch, I met a man that challenged me to think of myself outside of my skin more than I've ever been challenged to before. If you are reading this, then you are probably well aware that I plan to continue to work in the social services/non-profit sector. My AmeriCorps experience has given me so much valuable CONFIDENCE that I needed for this area of work, so I went into this lunch experience thinking it'd be no problem at all. Really, I was just there for a source of support for my students...

Boy, was I wrong.

buy a hat. change a life.

I finally went skiing last weekend, which means I had a chance to whip out my awesome hat from Krochet Kids International! 

So anyway, Krochet Kids is pretty cool. For starters, I absolutely love that it's a not-for-profit organization originally started by 3 college-aged guys that had a passion for crocheting. Being an avid crocheter myself, I would've killed to have one of my college buddies teach me some pointers from a guys' point of view! And I'm sure my brother would have, too, being the sole recipient of all of my beginner hats... [sorry for the rainbow-colored, doll-sized beanies, Charlie] 

So yes, for starters, kudos to these men for pushing gender stereotypes.

These 3 friends learned to crochet in high school, got nicknamed the "Krochet Kids" by their local newspaper, separated ways a bit in college, and later found themselves brought together after one member of the trio returned from a summer in Uganda...

He told his friends about the need for empowerment through employment. How amazingly cruel conditions were for these individuals living in poverty due to over 20 years of conflict and reliance on the government and other outside sources for aid. These young men saw the opportunity of taking their "small" hobby and turning it into something that would eventually change the lives of so many people in the region of Northern Uganda. A "desire to see Northern Uganda transformed by hook and yarn"...

[find out all the details of their story here!]

I am inspired by this organization because they took a simple, average, everyday skill and turned it into a literal lifesaver for individuals experiencing extreme poverty. Krochet Kids International is now helping more than "150 people in Uganda and Peru work, receive education, and be mentored toward a brighter future." [http://www.krochetkids.org/who-we-are/our-story/] They empower women with this skill, which instills in them a sense of empowerment and self-worth, all while creating an idea of a global community that I believe to be so necessary for success.

More reasons why I love Krochet Kids International:

• "Every product is hand signed by the person who made it."

• This video.
• THANK YOU, Akello Welsy

• The appreciation doesn't stop there! You can look up the woman that made your hat, learn a little about her, and immediately send her a thank you note. How. Cool.

• Design! Not only are the hats super stylish, but so is their website! Check it out: http://www.krochetkids.org/
• Did I mention it 3 college MEN who loved to CROCHET started it? Yeah...

Listen, I know it's mid-March and we're all getting spring fever, but buy a hat. I know I'm planning on finally treating myself to the highly versatile 5207.5 once my next pay check roles around... 

a hairy situation

Warning: the post you are about to read may be very much like the warning given in my mission. You have been warned.
>(Has the word "warn" started to look weird yet?)

A favorite quote from one of my favorite movies. And it was all I could think about during my appointment at the hair salon today...

My hair has been driving me crazy for quite some time now. It's super thick, and I have a lot of it. So much so that I often feel like I'm dangerously close to being related to this guy:

So I was looking forward to my appointment tonight. As I was walking over to the chair, I was saying the usual to my stylist: it's too thick, has no style, feels like... well... like Cousin It [unfortunately I did not express that particular concern verbatim].

The second she unraveled my hair from my high bun, she burst out laughing. Actually, it started off as more of a snort [I think it was to protect my feelings?]. And just as quickly as the snort let out, she apologized to me for having such a horrible haircut.

What?! I've been wearing this "horrible haircut" for more than 3 months now! And why was she apologizing? I never met her before. Her salon wasn't the one that ruined my head. I guess it was really bad, and she was just sorry that I was living life that way. Not only did she apologize for my lifestyle choice multiple times, but she called over her other stylist friends to evaluate the situation. I was really embarrassed - my face red, palms sweaty...

BUT good news: I love my haircut. She turned the "worst haircut ever" into a totally manageable head of hair.

Which I guess is why I'm writing a blog post about this [still not sure if that proved my point yet...]. Believe it or not, I was not thrilled about being made fun of by an entire salon of gorgeous stylists with really pretty hair. I was even hard at work reconsidering what kind of tip I would leave her. But, I decided to laugh along.

I totally could've felt attacked and reacted poorly, or not at all, but I thought that that would've made for one long & awkward hair appointment, so I laughed, too. And we had fun, doggone-it.

I swear I have a point...

I think that we need to stop taking life [and ourselves] so seriously. Let's not be afraid to talk with people we don't know, laugh with them, even smile in their direction. From a young age, we're taught that strangers are bad - still something I totally encourage - but then we're never reminded at a later age of the possibility that they may turn out to be good. Laugh at yourself! Laugh at other people [but be nice...]! Maybe one of the coolest things about life is realizing that you're all in it together.

[Kurt Vonnegut]
::choose hope::

smooshed up words

[hey, go here: http://shop.holstee.com]

Never ever, in my whole entire life, would I think that a bunch of smooshed up words on a piece of $36.00 paper would mean so much to me. But, as time has passed, I've realized that it has been a $36.00 very well spent.

I've had this poster for about a year and a half now. I've moved a few times in between, but every time it's time to unpack and [my favorite thing in the whole world...] decorate(!), I make it a point to hang it in a place where I know it'll be the first thing I see when I get up. Yes... I read it every single day. 

Now, that may sound crazy... or obsessive... or all of the above... and you're probably right, but how can you blame me? Following these smooshed up words has truly reminded me things about life that I would otherwise forget. 

& by that, I mean...

"This is your life. Do what you love and do it often."  

Sometimes I'm a little hard on myself. I don't exercise much. I don't read as often as I'd like to. I don't follow the news as closely as I should. But, this first sentence reminds me to give myself some credit: I do what I want to do. I work for the common good, even if it means never being a millionaire. I listen to "old" music, even if my friends think I'm outdated. I cuddle my ugly little cat. I move around - a lot - which makes me miss out on things at home. I'm not afraid of going places by myself, even if I look like a huge dork doing so. Some call it being passionate, others call it being stubborn, but by doing what I want to do (what I love to do)  I create ownership of my life, and I never miss out on a darn thing.

"If you don't like your job, quit."  

A few months ago, I read this specific line every.single.day. Things aren't always easy working as a full-time volunteer at such a large institution. I was frustrated. Really frustrated. But this simple little sentence really made me question if it was bad enough to give up. I mean really, if we absolutely hate our jobs, then it really can [and should!] be that easy... which is awesome. But I didn't want it to be that easy, so I kept challenging myself until I learned to love it. I like that it reminds me that I should never be miserable at a place where I spend 40 hours of my week, but that it also challenges me to question my role in a position and why I accepted it in the first place.

"If you don't have enough time, stop watching TV." 

This is actually a line that has really shaped my current lifestyle. I kept telling myself that I wanted to do all these things: become better at crocheting, read a good book, start a blog, etc. What was standing between me and these things? Yeah, you guessed it. I mean, I think we can all agree that Duck Dynasty is nothing short of a godsend, but not exactly the best use of my time (sorry Uncle Si). Pretty proud with my progress so far...

"Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people. We are united in our differences."  

I am an introvert. Being an introvert, I hated myself when I arrived to my little dorm/apartment that first day in Oregon... and for a week, or two (or three) after that. All I wanted to do was stay locked up in my room and Skype my friends and family. However, I quickly realized that life would continue to be less-than-stellar if things continued down that path. Again, I read those lines over and over again. I got up the courage to take myself out to dinner, to the movies, even to the bar to enjoy live music one night! I ended up meeting my very first friends that night. Whenever I feel discouraged about life in a new territory, I remind myself of this reality and find inspiration in the new people I meet.

I can promise you that I have a story for each and every thought explained here, but I won't continue to pour them out. Instead, I will confidently say that each of these sentences has touched me greatly, and I hope they do the same for you. One of the greatest compliments I ever received was from one of those very first friends in Oregon that told me that he thought this manifesto suited me very well. I hope to continue to be true to these words throughout the rest of my life. 

Take the chance and buy it*. Hang it somewhere you'll see it every day. Chew on the words a bit, and see if you can't challenge yourself to live just a little better because of it.

*Did you buy it yet?! What if I told you that 10% of all of Holstee's sales are given to budding entrepreneurs in the developing world thanks to Kiva.org? Track their progress here. Pretty awesome, huh?

well, I may as well begin...

...with my current favorite company to support!

After writing my last post, I've already noticed myself being more aware of the excuses I make and challenging myself to prove "me" wrong. I got home from work today, logged onto my Twitter account, and low & behold saw this tweet at the top of my feed:

How is that for a coincidence?! Turns out my thought process isn't so crazy after all [allowing me to gain one step closer to goal #5, thank you very much].

I'm proud to say that because of my first challenge of quitting excuses [and this undeniable sign from the Twitter gods!], I made my first Sevenly purchase. I have admired this organization for over a year now. I've convinced so many of my friends and family to support them, but had yet to directly support them on my own. I'm not sure why that is - it's kind of as if I told myself "well, there may be another cause that I relate more to next week..."

EXCUSES. Everybody - every cause - needs our attention. One social issue does not reign precedence over another when it comes to raising awareness. Something important to keep in mind.

Why the obsession over Sevenly?

• They are social media GENIUSES. I have my bachelor's degree in Communication and Public Relations... I can argue the importance of social media for days.
• Education. They make sure that their buyers are aware of the social issue that each campaign focuses on, guaranteeing awareness on community issues worldwide. And, speaking of social media, they even have a separate Twitter handle - @SevenlyLabs - that serves as their "educational arm" to the organization's general mission. Cool stuff.
• They provide me with beautiful motivational "posters" that I hang up all around my office AND apartment AND use as backgrounds on my computer AND share on my Facebook page all. the. time.:

 

[what's that about hope you say?]
source: https://www.facebook.com/sevenly.org

•  Design, design, design! They are constantly blowing me away with how quickly the turnaround is for new [extremely stylish] clothing designs week to week.
• They're fool proof. Plain and simply, they are the gateway for individuals (like me!) to change the lives of so many. 

I could probably go on & on, but I think you're getting the picture. Sevenly is awesome. Check out their site, buy some clothes, change some lives.